Factors that could lead to an unhappy and unhealthy marriage?

Marriage is a process of the social and legal relationship between two persons. It is not sure that you will be happy after marriage. Marriage faces many ups and downs. At the beginning of marital life, they live very happily. When the day passes it loses interest in married life. Unhappy marriage affects our health. They suffer from mental stress and anxiety. Sometimes Marriages are hard to sustain and are unhappy because of arguments and disagreements.

Lack of trust

Trust or faith is the most important thing in a relationship, especially in marriage. The emotional bonding is strong when they trust each other. If the relationship has love and affection, then it is necessary to trust and respect each other. When you lose your faith in your partner after marriage, this makes your relationship very weak. It creates the distance between husband and wife. Many married lives break down due to a lack of trust.

Not giving value to the partner’s opinion after marriage

After a certain time of marriage, they do not listen to any words from each other. They try to present themselves as brave and intelligent in front of each other. They disregard the relationship. They ignore their partner’s commitments and ideas. This leads from a good marriage to a bad one. Sometimes they give more importance to the third person’s words rather than the partner’s words. It increases the difficulty and especially anger towards one another. It is also an important reason for an unhappy and unhealthy marriage. According to the experts, in this situation, everyone from children to parents starts to suffer mental problems. 

Complaining each other

They accuse each other without any reason. When spouses start cursing each other, they understand that they have no love in this relationship. The heart is full of hatred and bitterness toward each other. They blame their partner for everything. If they accept their mistakes, then there is no cause for misunderstanding.

Unrealistic expectations

The first key factor that can lead to an unhappy and unhealthy marriage is unrealistic expectations. We all have hopes and dreams, but these are different from expectations. Hope is the desire for something good to happen, a wish or desire for a particular outcome.

A dream is an aspiration or vision for the future, something you’d like to achieve in life. When you hope or dream about something, it’s likely based on your past experience of similar situations.

If you’ve experienced love before (or if someone told you about how great love feels), then that hope/dream may be realistic; but if no one has ever loved them before (or they’ve never had good experiences with relationships), then their hopes/dreams will be unrealistic.

In addition, when we set up our hopes or dreams as expectations—meaning we think they’re going to happen—this often causes disappointment when they don’t materialize into reality after marriage.

Not spending time with each other

If you do not spend quality time with each other post marriage, how will you know what he/she thinks, what he/she wishes, what he/she dreams, what he/she needs, etc? It creates distance between two people. There are many reasons for not giving time to each other. The main reason is that they are engaged in an extramarital affair.

Not admiring each other

They do not admire each other. They seem to be inferior to each other in different ways. Whether it is education or money, family prestige or skin color can be a reason. They always disregard each other after marriage in front of the third person or in public. It will separate them or end up in divorce. 

Don’t forgive each other

At the beginning of married life, they often mistake. If your spouse has made a mistake, then it becomes your responsibility to forgive your spouse. The elders of the family should forgive the younger ones. They do not forgive each other. They keep self-ego in their mind.

Comparing yourself to other couples

The main reason for an unhappy and unhealthy marriage is comparing yourself to other couples. They always desire a happy life as other people have. They cannot accept their present condition. They always find other married couples are happier and more blessed. If you compare regular you become depressed.

Money

Money is the major cause of unhappy marriages. Financial problems create a big gap in a relationship. You do not complete any need without money.

If you want a happy and healthy marriage, you should not do these things.

• Don’t compare your spouse to others.

We all have our personal insecurities, but some try to externalize them by comparing their partner to others or expecting that they should be able to read their minds. The truth is, you need to accept your partner for who they are and appreciate them as a whole person, not just one aspect of who they are. If you want someone else instead of who your spouse might be right now in this moment, then it may not be the right time for marriage.

• Don’t expect your partner to meet all of your needs or wants 100% of the time

Your partner should not attempt to be perfect for you at all times; instead, try communicating with them about what makes sense for both parties by being open about what works best for each situation so that there can be a compromise rather than fighting over control issues (like cleaning).

• Don’t put too much pressure on yourself or believe that it’s up entirely on your shoulders whether or not things work out between two people–it takes two! You need someone willing enough and interested enough in maintaining a healthy relationship with another human being (and vice versa) in order that both parties have equal say over how things go day-to-day without feeling like they’re doing everything alone.

The Bottomline

The good news is that it is possible to have a happy and healthy marriage. If you want your relationship to be a success, then you should do your best not to engage in any of the behaviors that we just covered. Instead, focus on the things that will help your relationship flourish: communication, intimacy, appreciation for each other’s unique qualities, and spending time together without distractions or comparisons (including comparing yourselves with others). It’s advised to have an opinion from an experienced therapist before ending the relationship in divorce.